After food, the most subjective part of any mainstream cruise is the entertainment, which has to be diversified and innovative but never controversial
Many passengers, despite having paid so little for their cruise, expect to see top-notch entertainment, ‘headline’ marquee-name cabaret artists, the world’s most ‘popular’ singers, and the most dazzling shows with slick special effects, just as one would find in the best venues in Las Vegas, London, or Paris.
There are many reasons why it is not exactly so. International star acts invariably have an entourage that accompanies them to any venue: their personal manager, their musical director (often a pianist or conductor), a rhythm section (with bass player and drummer), even their hairdresser.
On land, one-night shows are possible, but with a ship, an artist cannot always disembark after just one night, especially when it involves moving equipment, costumes, and baggage.
This makes the whole matter logistically and financially unattractive for all but the very largest ships on fixed itineraries, where a marquee-name act might be a marketing plus.
When you are at home you can bring the world’s top talent into your home via television. Cruise ships are a different matter. Most entertainers don’t like to be away from their ‘home base’ for long periods, as they rely on telephone contact. They don’t like the long contracts that most ships must offer in order to bury the cost.
Alternative Entertainment
Most cruise ships organize acts that, while perhaps not nationally recognized ‘names,’ can provide two or three different shows during a seven-day cruise. These will be male/female singers, illusionists, puppeteers, hypnotists, and even circus acts, with wide age-range appeal. There are comedians and comedy duos who perform ‘clean’ material and who may find work year-round on the ‘cruise ship circuit.’
These popular comics enjoy good accommodation, are stars while on board, and often go from ship to ship on a standard rotation every few days. There are raunchy, late-night ‘adults only’ comedy acts in some of the ships with younger, ‘hip’ audiences, but few have enough material for several shows.
The larger a ship, the broader the entertainment programme is likely to be.
Showbiz at Sea
In today’s high-tech world, staging a lavish 45 to 50-minute production show involves the concerted efforts of a range of experienced people, and a cost of US$500,000 to US$1 million a show isn’t unheard-of.
Weekly running costs (performers’ salaries, costume cleaning and repair, royalties, replacement audio and videotapes, and so on) all add up to an expensive package for what can be a largely unappreciative and critical audience.
